How to Find a Therapist
One of the great ironies of therapy is that finding a therapist is far from therapeutic. It can be so challenging to find good referrals, understand fees and insurance, actually connect to a therapist, and then finally navigate scheduling. This profession does not do a great job helping people find us, but that is starting to change. With the cultural dialogue opening up around mental health and more therapists engaging out in communities, and on social media, small change is happening. Here are few ways to find your ideal therapist.
Ask trusted sources
Resources like Psychology Today can be immensely useful in the search for a therapist, but starting there can be overwhelming. Going to trusted people is often a better bet. Most doctors’ offices maintain lists of local therapy referrals, many even maintain lists by type of counseling/specialty. Reaching out to close friends can be another fruitful avenue, it can be surprising how many folks are currently in therapy, have been to therapy, or know a great therapist.
Complete a tech-savy search
Googling “Therapist + your area + anxiety” is going to yield hundreds, if not thousands, of results. You will have much more success if you first as yourself to pair-down what you’re looking for in a therapist and looking to work on in therapy before you start typing. Use prompts like:
If I had to describe what I’m feeling or experiencing in just one sentence, what would I say?
What are the top three words that come to mind when I think about what’s going on in my life right now?
When I picture my future therapist and therapy experience, what do I see?
If you come back from those prompts with answers like:
I’m feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and resentful because of the pressures of my job and my home life.
Busy, unfulfilled, stuck
I picture being curled up on my couch (or a couch) and working through tough questions with a female therapist and using art, journaling, or other non-talking things
You have got yourself excellent search material! Now would be the time to search “Virtual and in-person female therapist for burnout.” This will significantly hone search engine responses and help you better navigate the profiles that do appear.
Utilize social media!
Many therapists have at least some social media presence, particularly Instagram and LinkedIn. Once you have a few profiles you connect with, search their names on each site and scroll through recent posts or share. This will help you get a feel for the therapist’s personality, how they communicate to their niche, and what interests them.
Do an initial consultation
Most therapists offer a free 15-20 minute consultation (read more about how to nail this initial call here). If this is not clearly stated on their website/bio, reach out in your contact form to inquire. It's a big investment to go to a first session, both financially and emotionally. I encourage clients, and folks in my own life, to interview your therapist! You and your therapist, theoretically (/hopefully!), are going to be a strong, committed team, so how you feel about them is incredibly important. We know from repeated research studies that 70% of counseling efficacy comes from the strength of the relationship between the client and the counselor, all other stuff (all the technique, tools, etc.) comes out to only 30%! Taking the time to find the right fit is so important.
Remember: it takes time
Much like finding a spouse on the first, first date; finding a lifelong therapist after the first consultation is rare. It’s amazing when that happens, but it is by no means the norm. It's very much ok (normal even) to meet your therapist, think you're hitting it off, and then find out you really don't work out. You are “dating” your therapist, not marrying them. It's their job to help you find the right fit.